Monday, June 25, 2007
Monday Poetry Train: Burying Treasure
Written for Rhian's Poetry Train. I think it's self-explanatory!
Looking back
Over old poems written years ago
I see their beauty
Recognize their pain
Love their nostalgia
And fear their power
To wound
I've come so far since then
Learned what love really is
Brushed the past under the carpet
And walked on it,
Like you walk over crumbs
That you promise yourself you'll vaccuum up later
But never remember to do
Doesn't matter where I am now,
I suppose.
Not when there's another who might see
Who might be hurt
Wounded
Torn raw
And opened to a fiction that reads like truth
Instead of the fantasy it was
And the truth it could never be.
Maybe under the carpet's not deep enough.
Maybe I need to take this part of my past
Into my treed backyard
And dig a hole
And bury them there, my poems.
I'll mark the spot
With a rock, a stick, an old bird's nest
So that when the nostalgia hits
I can visit them and dream again
About things I wished were a different way
Even as I know
That as good as I wanted them to be
They could never be as good
As things are now.
Don't forget to check out the Summer Hidden Treasures Contest! And if you haven't been here for a few days, scroll on down and catch up with Kerri...
Looking back
Over old poems written years ago
I see their beauty
Recognize their pain
Love their nostalgia
And fear their power
To wound
I've come so far since then
Learned what love really is
Brushed the past under the carpet
And walked on it,
Like you walk over crumbs
That you promise yourself you'll vaccuum up later
But never remember to do
Doesn't matter where I am now,
I suppose.
Not when there's another who might see
Who might be hurt
Wounded
Torn raw
And opened to a fiction that reads like truth
Instead of the fantasy it was
And the truth it could never be.
Maybe under the carpet's not deep enough.
Maybe I need to take this part of my past
Into my treed backyard
And dig a hole
And bury them there, my poems.
I'll mark the spot
With a rock, a stick, an old bird's nest
So that when the nostalgia hits
I can visit them and dream again
About things I wished were a different way
Even as I know
That as good as I wanted them to be
They could never be as good
As things are now.
Don't forget to check out the Summer Hidden Treasures Contest! And if you haven't been here for a few days, scroll on down and catch up with Kerri...
Labels: creative writing, poem, Poetry Train, Rhian/Crowwoman
Comments:
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Poems are a good porthole to nostalgia but now, yes. Better yet.
# posted by 
: June 25, 2007 9:00 AM
: June 25, 2007 9:00 AM
oh Susan - this is wonderful and beautiful and a poem i can 100% relate to. I love the marking the poetry grave with a bird's nest...
Wow - this is really great! Love the whole tone of the piece, the wry wisdom. I especially love:
"Brushed the past under the carpet
And walked on it,
Like you walk over crumbs
That you promise yourself you'll vaccuum up later
But never remember to do"
Then "Maybe under the carpet's not deep enough."
Really enjoyed this.
"Brushed the past under the carpet
And walked on it,
Like you walk over crumbs
That you promise yourself you'll vaccuum up later
But never remember to do"
Then "Maybe under the carpet's not deep enough."
Really enjoyed this.
hey, I wrote a poem today -- I can't reveal it, because it's got state secrets in it. OK, I'll sanitize it so you can see how very special it was.
just this adjective noun
will we see that adjective adjective
noun of noun
--
damn, it used to be a haiku but I verb'ed it up pretty adjective.
just this adjective noun
will we see that adjective adjective
noun of noun
--
damn, it used to be a haiku but I verb'ed it up pretty adjective.
U, not only is it wonderful to see you around here again, but you crack me up.
Rock on, my friend.
And thanks, everyone! You guys have me so full of myself, I'm considering starting to submit some of these around!!!
Rock on, my friend.
And thanks, everyone! You guys have me so full of myself, I'm considering starting to submit some of these around!!!
What a fantastic poem! It's just amazing how much emotion vibrates from it without being obvious. Lovely, Susan!
Oooo, beauty! I have one poem out there that makes me shudder. It was published, so I can't exactly bury it. But, I love that it's out there, at the same time....
I love the range of emotion in this poem. Great ending, too....
I love the range of emotion in this poem. Great ending, too....
Love the imagery of this:
Brushed the past under the carpet
And walked on it,
Like you walk over crumbs
That you promise yourself you'll vaccuum up later
But never remember to do
I buried a similar 'treasure' a few weeks before my wedding. not under a tree but under the bottom drawer of a built-in desk in my room. i hoped to be able to come back to them like a time-capsule in five, ten or twenty years. but i discovered a couple years later that my parents had found them while remodling that room and chucked them with the rest of the dust-bunnies of time past.
Brushed the past under the carpet
And walked on it,
Like you walk over crumbs
That you promise yourself you'll vaccuum up later
But never remember to do
I buried a similar 'treasure' a few weeks before my wedding. not under a tree but under the bottom drawer of a built-in desk in my room. i hoped to be able to come back to them like a time-capsule in five, ten or twenty years. but i discovered a couple years later that my parents had found them while remodling that room and chucked them with the rest of the dust-bunnies of time past.
I love the line.."open to a fiction that reads like truth" because to me that's what a good fiction story is supposed to do. (even though I know it's fiction, I want to feel like it's really happening)
Great poem, Susan.
Great poem, Susan.
So bittersweet! And for some reason I keep thinking the poetry thing is Friday. I'll go find something to post.
Susan, as always, I love your posts. This poem is amazing!!!! You had me right here:
I see their beauty
Recognize their pain
Love their nostalgia
And fear their power
To wound
At the start!! LOVE IT! Goodluck with the writing and enjoy the family time!
I see their beauty
Recognize their pain
Love their nostalgia
And fear their power
To wound
At the start!! LOVE IT! Goodluck with the writing and enjoy the family time!
I really liked the beginning and to me, it mellowed out, kind of like maturing....It was a subtle twist at the end. Made me think of what I might have written in the past to come back and haunt me.
Another meme for your queue, SHG! It's a quick one and a great filler.
btw - yes, I went to the gym but I've done some injury to my knee so had to take it easy on the treadmill. No more Red Bull and Bike Demon for a while!
Cheers,
Wylie
btw - yes, I went to the gym but I've done some injury to my knee so had to take it easy on the treadmill. No more Red Bull and Bike Demon for a while!
Cheers,
Wylie
Ugh, knees. The Tour Manager did his in last week. Tomorrow's doctor day and I'm a bit nervous about the mini-vacation we just booked...
Sorry! I was tagging/linking as I was writing the post - so hadn't hit 'POST' yet :)
Didn't expect you to be so quick :)
Didn't expect you to be so quick :)
I can relate to this poem, so well.
I especially loved:
I see their beauty
Recognize their pain
Love their nostalgia
And fear their power
To wound
I tagged you for a short meme - details are on my site.
Thinking of you, XINE
I especially loved:
I see their beauty
Recognize their pain
Love their nostalgia
And fear their power
To wound
I tagged you for a short meme - details are on my site.
Thinking of you, XINE
# posted by : June 26, 2007 12:30 AM
: June 26, 2007 12:30 AM
Sorry I am day late reading your wonderful poem. Things were hairy to say the least yesterday.
Beautiful poem my friend!
Beautiful poem my friend!
Better late than never, Amy. You know I'm always here.
Hope the hairy things got a hair cut and life is better today. I'll check in with you to make sure.
Hope the hairy things got a hair cut and life is better today. I'll check in with you to make sure.
Sorry I’m late too, but this is a fantastic poem, as always, Susan. I can definitely relate, as I have some poetry from my college days that really needs to be buried.
Oh, how wonderfully PERFECT that poem is! I have so many old poems, almost always written about the "boys" in my past. First the "oh how I love him" and then the "you broke my heart" poems. Scary. I would follow the advice in this poem and bury them...but we move so much, I think I'd forget where they were buried!
Michele sent me!
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Michele sent me!
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