Monday, June 11, 2007

 

Poetry Train: Nine PM

I think this one is still a work-in-progress; we shall see. Once again, feel free to post today and jump on Rhian's poetry train. There are few cooler than Rhian.

Nine PM

Nine PM
Half-hour to the headliner.
I walk on the stage.
Opener's finished.
Crowd's worked up.

I been here since 6AM
I'll be here another four hours or so.
But Nine PM
That's my break.
My nightly laugh.

The cattle cheer when they see me.
The place comes alive.
The air snaps.
Like I'm the star,
Not just some roadie
With a job to do.

Most guys,
It'd go to their heads.
They'd get a few girls
hand out promises they couldn't keep --
or wouldn't.

Either way, it's the same thing.
Guy gets laid.
Girl goes home.
Alone.

Right now, I got a job to do.
Walk across the stage.
Make sure everything's plugged in
Gaffed down
Like it's supposed to be.
Leave again.
It's simple like that.
Good.
Easy.
After the day I just had, I need that.
And those yelling fans
Wake me up real good.

Bronx cheer or real,
Don't make no difference to me.
They can scream until they can't no more.
Won't bring the band out any faster.

Nine-thirty's their time.
Nine's mine.

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Comments:
this was awesome Susan! Brought back all kinds of memories for me. I swear my ears were just ringing with that after-pounding, and i could almost TASTE the funky stage smell of sweat, coppery tang of electronics, and over heated rubber tangled in the bitter scent of weed.

Excellent poem wench!
 
captures a unique voice nicely. I can almost hear him speaking. he sounds like a no-nonsese guy. and someone who has the kind of ambivalent that I imagine many performing artists must have

this week mine is a poem inspired by the many children who've blessed my life over the years--on my mind because two of them graduated last week and another is getting married next weekend. another two are in the military.
 
I really liked this poem. At first I assumed it was a she, and the feature performer. I was pleased (and surprised) to find out it was a male. And loved the fact that he was a roadie.

My favorite lines were the last two: "Nine-thirty's their time.
Nine's mine."

Or rather the last one, based on the one before it.

Great ending. ;)
 
"Bronx cheer or real,
Don't make no difference to me.
They can scream until they can't no more.
Won't bring the band out any faster.

Nine-thirty's their time.
Nine's mine."

Love the end of this poem, the whole thing is great!! Really strong narrator. Love it.
 
I loved this, Susan. Yes, it does have a unique voice and I can picture myself in his mind PERFECTLY, in the whole scenario. I LOVED IT!! Great job - as usual. =)
 
it made me see him, probably in a black tee and jeans, doing his thing, maybe making eye contact with a hot chick as he bent over to hook something up. very strong imagery, and as has been said, unique voice. wonderful!
 
Great story and characterization there, paints a real picture of the narrator. Carol
 
Very vivid! Awesome!
 
I like the phrase "bronx cheer"
 
Nice!
 
you do great men! um...you know what I mean? lol. Whenever you write in a male voice I don't hear a female lurking behind there at all.

really enjoyed this little slice of life of a unique personality

anna j. evans
 
Awesome, I totally was enthralled watching the roadies at the Gwen concert. How fast and studiously they get the job done, and the nice thing about Gwen, she introduces her crew and gives them lots of credit. Great Poem!
 
I agree with Anna - very authentic-sounding voice of a man.

great roadie poem!
 
Wonderful, Susan! I haven't been to a real concert in YEARS, and then only in the audience, but this brought it all back vividly.
 
Great poem. Wonderful characterization.
 
Susan, I loved this. It felt right from the first line all the way to the ending word.
 
I like it:) You've been tagged for a meme! Please visit my post - no pressure - for instructions. Thanks!
 
Hi, Susan - guess what?

You're tagged!

Oopsy!

But never fear, it's only for a recycling meme.

(Which is a godsend because for a whole day you can recycle a post and don't need to THINK, ha! Save all those brain cells for your WIP!)
 
Susan your poem rocks!
 
Mmmmmmm, I just love that, Susan! What a wonderful voice to that poem -- I could see the fella in my mind, savoring his half-hour in the concert sun. :)

And speaking of music... I tagged you for a fun music meme I think you'll enjoy! Come see my blog for details.
 
Hi Susan - I just tagged you for a meme!
 
Very visual! Love it!
 
I like it, Susan! I don't know how you do this so well. I'm completely mystified by the art of writing poetry!
 
I really like this entry!!! I think it shows really the essence of your character!
I have some poem post to my other blog, but they kind of sucks in english!!
 
That's a great poem, Susan. I'm glad I discovered your blog. I'm a first time visitor, but I plan to come back.
 
I found this through Weekend Wordsmith. I like this poem a lot. The voice comes through straightforward and simple. I'm on my way to read your others now.
 
I used to be in a local rock band. I recall it well.
 
So atmospheric - I felt I was there. Wonderful.
 
That's awesome. I never thought about how a roadie feels when he is setting up the equipment.
 
going to a concert one never looks at the backside...always the one whose on stage performing...thanks for the open door to see the performance before...
 
I love roadie poet. It's like being inside his head.
 
Love that you brought us back to Roadie Poet's poem It was his first wasn't it?

"Nine-thirty's their time.
Nine's mine." Stays in my head.
 
Yep, this was the first.

Part of the magic of the prompt... You guys really ate up RP in ways I can't quite get my head around.
 
I do not think its always girl gets to go home alone..sometimes it also depends on what she chooses to be or do
 
i always love the poetic interludes in this story......
 
those last two lines were superb...very nice.
 
The cattle cheer when they see me...

I liked that!

LOL!
 
Cool... reminds me of my years in rock during the 60's & 70's. We weren't "big time", we were an "opening act" -- but we had two great roadies... Geoff and Andy.
 
Hello Islander –

This is a note to tell you I’m genuinely happy to see you on the Island. I founded the Island originally as a temporary destination for those of us set adrift when Poetry Thursday sunk. But the Island has flourished… because of writers, like you, who come to enjoy the tropical breeze, and just write -- for the sheer pleasure of it! So, the beaches remain open, and all are most welcome!

Poetry Thursday is now ReadWritePoem. Check them out if you haven’t. The crew at Totally Optional Prompts is doing a fine job. Both are excellent writing destinations.

I am slowed a bit with back pain. This has hampered my time at my computer -- so, I have not been able to read much of your work. I will catch up when I’m steadier at the helm. I am dictating this to my wife, who will kindly post it for me. Kathy is a dear!

See you on the island. I have a prompt for this Friday I think should spark some fun and interesting writing.

May your muse be kind…

…Rob
W.I.
 
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