Monday, July 30, 2007

 

Monday Poetry Train: Camp

I'm still exhausted from the camping weekend, so here's a sort-of haiku. Let me know if I actually managed to get the syllable count right. I'm too tired to count that high.


Muscles honed at the gym
Carry me easily
Tempting normality


If you didn't follow the end of the adventures of the Deadly Metal Hatchet, or if you need an update on Summer's Hidden Treasures, scroll on down. It got quiet here while I was gone!

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# posted by Susan Helene Gottfried @ 7:43 AM
Comments:
Though not strictly a haiku. But beautiful nevertheless.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : July 30, 2007 8:21 AM
 
Tempting normality?

That is good!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : July 30, 2007 9:43 AM
 
Hey - nice haiku! I think the syllables are nominally 5-7-5, but your lines here with 3 sets of 6 give a nicer balance. I find a lot of haikus that play around with the syllable count.

Glad to hear you're back from the camp. Hope it was fun as well as exhausting.
# posted by Blogger Julia Phillips Smith : July 30, 2007 9:56 AM
 
Morning Susan. Welcome home. My servers were down yesterday, so I didn't see your comment until today.

Nice haiku (of a sort). Julia is right on the count, but I know there are several different versions out there, so you must of hit one of them. :D
# posted by Blogger Lisa Andel : July 30, 2007 11:31 AM
 
Maybe we ought to call it the Susan Form? *grin*
# posted by Blogger Susan Helene Gottfried : July 30, 2007 11:32 AM
 
ROFL. I couldn't stop laughing, that's how I feel ALL the time, and I work out a bit (I've been skipping the gym recently.) Whoops.
# posted by Blogger Amy Ruttan : July 30, 2007 11:48 AM
 
i liked tempting normality. shocking, eh?
# posted by Blogger Rhian : July 30, 2007 5:15 PM
 
Cool, your own haiku (form). Cool poem.
# posted by Blogger Ann : July 30, 2007 5:51 PM
 
You have to tell me about that storm :) Glad you're back. By the way I wanted to give you the Schmooze award but Thomma already did it :-)

Why I'd give it to you? You leave smiles and friendly steps wherever you go and you always have time to check on me and post a comment or two :D

Be well.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : July 30, 2007 8:08 PM
 
well, its just means you had alot of cathcing up to do. For a haiku, this was very very good
# posted by Blogger Sparky Duck : July 31, 2007 12:23 AM
 
Nice Susan-form haiku! I especially like the last line.
# posted by Blogger Dewey : July 31, 2007 11:33 AM
 
I like camping poetry. I think it should be its own category.
# posted by Blogger Camille Alexa : July 31, 2007 2:51 PM
 
the syllable count isn't the most important part of a haiku. Given the difference between Japanese and English syllables, literary haiku writers in English use 5-7-5 as upper limits rather than a strict rule. Having said that its not strictly a haiku for other reasons too complicated to go into here. But it reads well as a short haiku-esque poem nonetheless
# posted by Blogger Crafty Green Poet : August 01, 2007 3:13 PM
 
I remember the rules from elementary or junior high school being pretty strict, as far as haikus go. But that's about the extent of it!

Thanks for the input -- I'm always up for learning new things.
# posted by Blogger Susan Helene Gottfried : August 01, 2007 3:19 PM
 
At least the muscles were honed...brave woman to camp.. Welcome back.
# posted by Blogger Jenny McB : August 13, 2007 5:51 PM
 
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