Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Susan Speaks: Careful what you ask for.
Recipe for Susan's now-famous Dark Chocolate Brownies
(in easy-to-follow steps)
1. Go to bank.
2. Ask for three five-dollar bills. They must be brand new. The serial numbers must not be sequential.
3. Trade the bank teller something of equal worth for those three five-dollar bills. You're not the thief in this scenario!
4. Go home.
5. Get notebook.
6. Get pen.
7. Choose previously blank sheet of paper.
8. Write: Dear Susan. Please send me a batch of dark chocolate brownies.
9. Sign your name to the note.
10. Include an address for me to mail brownies to.
11. Rip sheet of paper out of notebook.
12. Fold sheet of paper neatly into thirds.
13. Carefully place the three brand new, non-sequentially numbered five dollar bills into the middle of the note. Do not fold the five dollar bills. If you must, repeat steps 6 through 13 on a standard size sheet of notebook paper.
14. Place packet into #10 envelope.
15. Seal envelope.
16. Address to Susan Helene Gottfried at West of Mars.
17. Place Forever Stamp in upper right-hand corner.
18. Deliver to postal worker, dependable mailbox, or best friend who is headed to the post office.
19. Mail.
20. Sit back and wait. Brownies will arrive within a week, unless postal workers between here and there open box and partake.
Failure to adhere to any of these directions will cause your brownies to mysteriously vanish into the gut of one Tour Manager, who will then have to bike many miles to be thin again. Please, if you're not going to follow the directions (okay, you can ask for my real address), just make a cash donation here instead.
Okay, now that you're laughing, go to the Bloggers Choice Awards and vote for me. I'm too lazy to cut and paste the code yet again. Must be post-brownie syndrome.
(in easy-to-follow steps)
1. Go to bank.
2. Ask for three five-dollar bills. They must be brand new. The serial numbers must not be sequential.
3. Trade the bank teller something of equal worth for those three five-dollar bills. You're not the thief in this scenario!
4. Go home.
5. Get notebook.
6. Get pen.
7. Choose previously blank sheet of paper.
8. Write: Dear Susan. Please send me a batch of dark chocolate brownies.
9. Sign your name to the note.
10. Include an address for me to mail brownies to.
11. Rip sheet of paper out of notebook.
12. Fold sheet of paper neatly into thirds.
13. Carefully place the three brand new, non-sequentially numbered five dollar bills into the middle of the note. Do not fold the five dollar bills. If you must, repeat steps 6 through 13 on a standard size sheet of notebook paper.
14. Place packet into #10 envelope.
15. Seal envelope.
16. Address to Susan Helene Gottfried at West of Mars.
17. Place Forever Stamp in upper right-hand corner.
18. Deliver to postal worker, dependable mailbox, or best friend who is headed to the post office.
19. Mail.
20. Sit back and wait. Brownies will arrive within a week, unless postal workers between here and there open box and partake.
Failure to adhere to any of these directions will cause your brownies to mysteriously vanish into the gut of one Tour Manager, who will then have to bike many miles to be thin again. Please, if you're not going to follow the directions (okay, you can ask for my real address), just make a cash donation here instead.
Okay, now that you're laughing, go to the Bloggers Choice Awards and vote for me. I'm too lazy to cut and paste the code yet again. Must be post-brownie syndrome.
Labels: brownies, Montour Trail, Susan Speaks
